


Keeping Secrets

by DonnyIsHungry09



Category: Hellboy - Fandom
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 09:24:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19315306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DonnyIsHungry09/pseuds/DonnyIsHungry09
Summary: When HB gets tired of being cooped up in the BPRD 24/7, he decides to follow a certain someone, but when he uncoversa secret of Johns, he doesn't know how to handle it.





	1. A bad beginning to something good

**Author's Note:**

> yeah. This first chapter is mainly about some background info. Okay, so this really doesn't have that much of a plot. I'm making it up as I go. This is also my first (Published) Fanfic I've ever written! Go easy on me guys, I don't really know what I'm doing, but hope y'all like it!

Hellboy found himself pacing his room once more. He was bored out of his mind, and he had nothing to do. _Nothing_. His tail whipped around and smacked against the table, making him groan. Despite how sturdy it looks, his tail is quite feeble. Yes, he can fight with it and grab things, but that doesn’t keep it from hurting like hell when ever he hits it. “Damn, there hasn’t been a mission in almost two weeks!” He sat at the edge of his bed, making it dip under his weight.

  


If only he could leave this building and go out into the world and do the things _he_ wants to do. Of course, he knows he’d never be able to do that. Not with Mannings keeping him a secret and making up lies about how the pictures are fake, or how the videos are all hoaxes, or how a group of people somehow confused him for an animal, then again, that one was a great lie.Funny too.

  


His thoughts were interrupted when he heard the creaking wheels of the cart, the smell of food following it. They never did fix the food cart after that little tantrum he threw after that argument with Liz. He shook his head and stood up trying not to think of that day, but it was no use. The memory just played in his head like a movie.  


  


\--Flashback--

  


It was about four months after the whole Rasputin thing. He and Liz had gotten back together after that kiss. Everything went back to normal between them, except Liz tried a bit harder to stay at peace with Hellboy, but when she did get mad, they would get into huge arguments. Most of those arguments seemed to be over literally nothing. Red would do something, Liz tells him to stop, Red continues to do it and says something that offends her, then boom. Liz gets mad. Insults were thrown, silence for days, and John… John would play peacekeeper and try to mend the wounds they made.

  


“Liz, he didn’t mean it. You out of all people should know that.”

  


“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.” Liz let out a short breath before standing up. “John?” She said before turning to face him. “Yeah?”

  


He could see something in her eyes. Regret maybe? When Liz didn’t say anything for a long minute, he began to think of what she might say. His thoughts were short lived as she sat down again, but… Closer. “I need to tell you something, but… I don’t want Hellboy to know. At least, not yet.” She fidgeted around with the hem of her sweater, which only made John more nervous, but he made sure not to show it. “Yeah, I can do that.”

  


He felt a tinge of guilt flow through his chest as he said that. He never really hid anything from Hellboy, except… Except his feelings. That was something he _had_ to hide. He knew Hellboy would be disgusted with John if he ever found out. Well, he doesn’t know that for sure. Even if he isn’t disgusted, he won’t return those feelings, that’s a fact.

  


John was quickly ripped out of that thought when Liz started with a large huff. “I just can’t keep doing this, John. Hellboy is just… A big child, we can’t seem to agree on anything, and at every turn, we fight. He never seems to get tired of it. Yeah, I can do with fights here and there, but these are almost every day.” He couldn’t believe what he just heard. Liz… Can’t handle Hellboy? Yeah, he can be annoying sometimes, but- he thought they were meant to be. _I mean, he brought you back from the dead!_ He so badly wanted to say, but she’s had her fair share of nightmares about that already.

  


“I- Hold on, I thought you loved him?” He couldn’t stop the words as they flowed out his mouth.

  


“I do. Believe me when I say I love him, but… You know, it took me awhile to realize what _kind_ of love. I love him, yeah, but it’s more like family than it is lovers. I grew up with him after all.” John couldn’t help but feel sorry for Red. Red loves her, that’s no lie.

  


“Maybe it’s time for him to realize that too… but, yeah, Just don’t tell Red, okay? I really needed to get that off my chest.”

  


“And I’m glad you did, it may not be good news, but keeping that from everyone would probably be a bad idea.” John tried his best to keep the shock out of his voice. He really didn’t want to believe this. He saw Liz and Hellboy as the perfect couple. They both knew each other, on a level that other people couldn’t, besides Abe, of course.

  


“John, I’ve been thinking of leaving…” At that, he felt his heart sink. Liz wanted to leave, again. He knew he wouldn’t be able to stop her if he tried, that would probably only make her more determined to leave. It was worth a shot. Her leaving would only worsen Hellboy's mood after she breaks up with him.

  


“You know that would only make this situation worse? I mean- It’s your choice, but, still.”

  


“Yes, I understand, but… Knowing Hellboy, as long as I’m here, he’d want to try and win me back.” Liz only watched as John stood up and stretched a little. “Y-yeah, I understand, and don’t worry, I’ll keep this a secret until you… Ya know…” To avoid making this any more awkward than it already is, John left using Hellboy’s dinner as an excuse.

  


\-----

  


It had been a full week since Liz and John had that conversation. Since then, Abe had been filled in about the details, since there is no keeping secrets from him. Ever since then John had been on edge the whole time. Everytime Liz and Red were alone together, he was expecting Liz to storm out of the room, Red in pursuit, trying to convince her to stay.

  


“Don’t think about that now.” He reminded himself as he pushed the food cart down the hall. The door was slightly open, which meant someone had to be in there with him. His heart began to pound in his ears as he got closer. He doesn’t know why he’s so concerned about Hellboys reaction, It has nothing to do with me. He reminded himself as he pushed the door open.

  


“Red? Foods here.” He said as calmly as he could. When he pushed the cart into the room, Hellboy was sitting at the edge of his bed, smoking a cigar and Liz was right there, standing next to the table that was in the middle of the room. Good thing it’s bolted to the floor, because Hellboy’s gonna be mad…

  


“Hey John, need help?” John shook his head, but Liz ignored it and helped put the food on the table. She probably wanted to distract herself for a bit before she told Hellby, assuming she hasn’t already. Besides the sound of bowls of food and cats meowing and shuffling around, the room is totally quiet.

  


John tried to make a run for it, by excusing himself and saying that he should return the cart when Liz told him to stay. “I want you to stay, probably help as well if I get stuck?” He knew she wouldn’t get stuck. Liz isn’t one for beating around the bush when it comes to stuff like this.

  


“Yeah, sure.”

  


“Um, care to explain why he knows and not me?” Red stood up, towering over both of them. John felt a little targeted when HB started to glare at him. “Red, It’s okay. We just need to talk.” That didn’t seem to sooth Hellboy as he continued to stare at John for a full minute before turning back to Liz.

  


To say the least, the conversation did _not_ go well. Liz told him everything, while John sat in a corner looking at the cats, ignoring all the looks he got from both Liz and Hellboy. He only stepped in when Liz got angry and stormed out. “Myers, yer helping her?” He said around the cigar.

  


“No- Yes? She just doesn’t want to hurt you, that’s all.”

  


“Hurt me? What part of this do you think doesn’t hurt? She just basically told me she never loved me-”

  


“No, she said she loved you, but not in that way, Hellboy! You have to understand that she doesn’t feel that way, and you can’t just bulldose her into thinking she does. Stop making it look like she’s doing this for her own good, she’s thinking about you too, Red!” John was angry, and he didn’t know why. Maybe it was the way Liz looked so sad and defeated when she first brought this up, or maybe Hellboy was just that annoying. It could also be the fact that he watched the one person he loved get taken away by someone right in front of his eyes. 

  


All those bottled up emotions came fizzing over the edge, and he didn't know until it was too late. “And you know what? You probably pushed her into this spot, you’ve done nothing but argue and fight and- and, you don’t deserve her-” John felt his heart stop in his chest. He wasn’t thinking. Those words, they just came out. He looked down at the floor, trying to avoid all eye contact. ‘Well, he hates me now…’ Is all he could think of in his mind. Once he heard heavy footsteps coming his way, he immediately looked up into a pair of golden eyes. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When we left off, John had said some things that he didn't mean. When Red gets mad and does something he later regrets, will John forgive him, or do something that he, too, will regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so, this one wasn't as good as the first one. The only free time I had was at night, so I was mostly tired and half sleep when I wrote this one. Sorry. I also still have half of a plot simmering in my head, so yeah, some of this might not make sense.

John couldn't help but blush at how close Hellboy was, but he knows Red was only this close for one reason. That sudden outburst of anger. What he had said, _ of course _ it would make him mad. He just told Hellboy that he didn't deserve the one person he loves.

"I- Hellboy, I didn't mean any of that! I'm sorry, it just came out-" John was quickly cut off when he felt the air rush out of his lungs.

Hellboy had shoved him against the vault door and let out a low growl. As he caught his breath he looked up at Hellboy, he had kicked the cart, sending it halfway across the room, making the cats scatter.

"You have  _ no _ right to say that. You don't know me, or her! You think you're special 'cause my father hand picked you? He chose you to push pancakes for a living! How special do you think you are- We don’t even need you here, all you do is get in the way!" 

Hellboy began to pace as he talked, tail whipping around in anger. John could only watch the display from where he was, as he caught his breath. 

His heart was pumping in his ears, adrenaline was rushing through his veins. It was fight or flight, now, and he was leaning towards fight. Of course, he wasn't actually going to fight Hellboy, just throw across a reason for why he was special... but, was he? Yeah, he stopped the literal end of the world, but other than that, what did he do to deserve to be on this team? What Hellboy had said was more truth than just him saying it out of anger.

Still, he wanted to prove to Hellboy that he was more than just a pancake pusher- That he was useful. 

"Do I really seem that useless to you?" He uttered more to himself than Hellboy, as he stood up. 

"Don't give me that shit-" Hellboy started, but John didn't care enough to let him finish.

“No, Hellboy, you need to listen because all you do is yell and shoot stuff! You throw a fit when you don’t get your way, and you wonder why you need a babysitter?”  He said as he pushed himself off the vault door, taking a step closer. “I could leave all of this- you, whenever I want, but I  _ chose  _ to stay when I saw you! All of you guys...”

John could feel his anger boiling over, and it only got worse when Hellboy opened his mouth to speak. 

“So- What, are you saying I’m special, and that’s the reason why you stayed?” Hellboy scoffed.

John glared at Hellboy “Maybe that, or maybe because I  _ felt  _ like I finally belonged somewhere! Someplace where I thought I… Would be useful,  needed” He couldn’t help but think about Quantico. “And accepted for who I am.”

Quantico was hell on Earth, but the friends he made there made it better. That is, until they found out about his sexuality. After that, it was like they were totally different people.

John shook his head and pushed the thoughts away. “Point is, I chose to stay here because I thought it would be different,” He turned and picked the cart up, setting it on its wheels. 

“But apparently not.” He muttered as he walked out the room, pushing the cart, making the wheels squeak as he walked out.

**\--HB POV--**

Hellboy stood in his doorway watching John leave with the cart. “Myers- hold on!” Before he could chase after him, John sped up and disappeared around the corner, completely ignoring Hellboy. 

“The silent treatment, huh? Cute” He said sarcastically as he shut the vault door, but his fingers landed in something wet. It was some type of liquid, but it was warm?

When he looked at his hand, he saw a dark red substance on his fingers, it could only be one thing, and he  _ knew _ what it was. Hellboy looked back up at the door. There was a smudge of blood in the center, it only went up to his chest, and he was pretty sure where, or  _ who _ , it came from. 

“Myers” He said to himself as he opened the door to go chase down John and check him over for where the blood had come from.  _ Hopefully he wasn’t hurt too bad.  _ He thought to himself, but winced when he thought of John being seriously hurt. 

Obviously, that wasn’t the case, he walked out of there, not even knowing what had happened to him. Still, he felt the sting of guilt hit him in small waves, and it was only getting worse once he thought of what he said to ‘Scout. 

Before he could really panic about anything, he found himself at Johns door. The door was closed, and he assumed that it was locked. “Uh, John?” He said as he knocked gently. 

There was no response. 

_ Shit, the silent treatment  _ He thought to himself as he knocked harder. “Myers, look, I know you’re mad at me for what I said- and… I uh, I only said it because I was mad.” Why is saying sorry so hard? It’s just a few words. 

The guilt only grew stronger when he thought about what he said to Myers. ‘ _ We don’t even need you here’  _ The words rang through his head with a piercing tone. Yeah, he needs to at least do something to show the Squirt that he didn’t mean it, but first he needs to see where he was hurt. 

“‘Scout, look, just open the damn door so we can talk-”

“Hellboy?” A voice came from behind him. He turned around with a sheepish smile, already knowing who it was. “Uh, hi Myers” He tried his best to look casual, but it didn’t work. He just looked awkward and out of place. He felt dumb, he just got caught talking to a door, the door to Johns room. The guy he  _ just  _ had an argument with.

“What are you doing here, and who were you talking to?” He said with his arms crossed.

Hellboy only leaned against the door as he looked at John. He couldn’t see anything, so the blood must’ve come from his back side. He took in all the details and searched, sometimes wandering off to look at some place he shouldn’t be. 

“Look, about what I said earlier, I didn’t mean it…” HB said only to hear Myers scoff in return. “Yeah, sure. Apology accepted” 

“No, John. I’m for real, I said all of that out of anger. I just don’t want things to be weird okay? No silent treatment? I know this might sound sappy, But I’d rather not lose a friend like you…”

John felt bad for scoffing at his attempt to make things better, and sighed. “Fine, no hard feelings” 

Hellboy smiled and pushed himself off the door, finally finding the place where the blood came from when Myers walked past to open his door.

“You suck at apologies, HB.” 

“Yeah, yeah, let’s just take care of that” He said as he gently touched the small gash at the back of Johns head, making him flinch and wince at the contact. They did eventually go to the med bay to take care of that.

**\--END FLASHBACK--**

Hellboy heard the cart come to a stop outside of the vault door. He took a quick glance at himself in the mirror before opening the door.  _ Why did I do that? It’s just John.  _ He thought to himself as he pulled open the vault door with ease. “G’morning ‘Scout.”

“You too, Hellboy. Uhm- You got bacon, eggs, pancakes and sausages.”

When John spoke, he sounded awkward, like he had just caught him shagging.Both of them were awkward, they didn’t know what to say or do. Hellboy couldn’t even bring himself to make a joke, not when they’ve been so weird around each other. Ever since that argument, John started to close himself off. He distanced himself, and put up a wall.

Even though they agreed to forget about the argument, they just- Couldn’t. They both know that this wasn’t gonna fix itself. Unless they talked, and cleared it up themselves.  _ That _ wasn’t going to happen. Mainly due to John being awkward and HB not saying what he wants to say. 

Hellboy grabbed some bacon and began to munch on it, glancing between the TV’s and John. He couldn’t handle the silence anymore, so he decided that he should at least make some small talk. 

“So, got any plans for today?”

John looked surprised at first, like he didn’t expect Red to talk at all. “Besides working? None.” His answer was plain and short, like he was trying to show HB that he didn’t want to talk. “Boring, huh? Why don’t we bust outta here and have a drink? Once it gets dark, or course.”

“We?” John asked, letting a small smirk creep onto his face. “You know, I’m supposed to prevent that, right?”

“Yeah, but I know you won’t.” Hellboy said after finishing off the bowl of bacon. Honestly, it was amazing to see how fast he cleared off the cart. After eating the last pancake, he looked over at Myers, grin plastered on his face. “My offer still stands”

“How about it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so... I know this one is a slow burn, but I feel like I should at least speed it up a little in the next chapter. To me it feels like we've gotten nowhere. I hope you guys liked it tho.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hellboy wanted to go outside and meet up with John.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this one was posted late, BUT I was super busy with some personal stuff and I only had time to do this. I might be gone for awhile as well, so yeah, I'm so sorry guys! I'll try and make the next chapter as long as I can to make up for it, maybe even add some 'stuff' If ya know what I mean *Wiggles my eyebrows*

“Ugh- yeah, sure. I could use the break anyways.”

Hellboy only grinned as the ‘Scout left the room with all the dirty dishes. His plan was coming together perfectly. The pieces just fell together, all that was left to do was wait for the time to break out and meet him outside. 

**\---**

Hellboy was waiting behind a couple of trees when he saw Myers walking down the path. Yeah, no one would be out at this time, but he really wanted to be careful about this. He didn’t want to be seen so he didn’t have to leave early or get the agent in trouble. 

“Psst! Over here!” He waved over at the agent who was now laughing. 

“Subtle, Red. Real subtle.” He said as he sat down on a nearby bench. Hellboy quickly joining him. 

“You bring the stuff?” Red joked as John pulled out a six pack of beer. “Yeah, yeah. Here you go” John said handing Red a beer. 

“So John…” He said as he opened his beer and took a small swig. 

He had prepared for this moment, he wanted to know what was going on between them. He wanted to fix whatever feelings he had broken. John looked up at him with a curious look.  _ Crap… Don’t give up now _ He thought.

Red sat back and sighed heavily. “Look… About that whole argument? I know we agreed to forget about it, but I feel like it affected our relationship- As friends, ya know?” he couldn’t think of what to say after that. Everything he practiced just left his head.

“Red, I am fine-” John tried to protest, but Hellboy just wanted the truth.

“Myers, I know it’s still bothering you, and I didn't mean a word of what I said about you.”

**\--JM--**

John only nodded in response. On the outside he was taking this pretty well, but on the inside he was going crazy. He wanted to scream at him for even thinking about saying any of that stuff, but he also wanted to hug him for trying to make amends.

He was no longer in control of how he felt. He thought that if he just suppressed his feelings for Hellboy long enough, that they would disappear altogether. That didn’t happen though. 

“To be honest Red-” He let the words flow out, not even trying to stop himself anymore. “I’ve been thinking about that ever since it happened…” John slumped a bit in his seat as he looked at the half empty beer can, ignoring the stare he was getting from Hellboy. He felt it drill into the side of his head.

“I really just want to help, but I can’t even do that. I want all of this to pass over, but the more I try to forget it, the more I think about it.” 

Red let out a small sigh “Well, maybe if you were more open to talking about it, you’d understand that I said all of that out of anger” Hellboy nudged John and gave him a small reassuring smile. 

“Thanks HB, but I really don't feel like talking about that. If I do, I feel like some other stuff will slip out... Something I'm not ready to talk about, okay?.” John put on a weak smile as he stood up. “Well, I guess we’re done here?”

“What? I only had  _ one _ beer” Hellboy chuckled and crushed the now empty beer can, tossing it over his shoulder, hiding the curiosity that grew in the back of his mind. _'What is he talking about?' 'Is he still mad at me?'_ He couldn't help but think of what he meant by that, but he was willing to wait. Plus, he has his ways of finding out. 

“Okay, fine, just until the pack is finished.” John said as he sat back down. 

**\--HB--**

By the end of this-- Date? Or Meeting, Hellboy downed the rest of the beers and they started to talk more. 

“So, you seein’ anyone?” That sorta came out of nowhere, but Hellboy mentally shrugged and turned to look at the smaller agent, who seemed lost in thought at the moment. 

“Uh, ‘Scout?” John jolted back into reality as he looked up at Hellboy who was currently waving his left hand in front of his face. “Sorry, I was just thinking about something.”  Hellboy was getting a bit bored at this point. Yeah they were talking again, but it was all about what happened at the Bureau. 

Hellboy didn’t want to hear about that. He wanted to hear about John. About what he does for fun, his life, his- Hellboy's mind froze at that. Why did he need, no, want to learn more about this agent? Yeah they are friends, but that was kind of required for them to be partners. 

“So… Myers?” Hellboy began, but forgot what he was going to say. Something about meeting up more? 

“Yeah?” Myers said as he yawned.  _ Just ask him, it’s that easy… _ Hellboy stood up and scratched the back of his neck “I guess it’s time to head back, huh?” The agent let out a little sigh and stood up as well. 

“I guess-” Before he could finish his sentence, Hellboy cut him off. “Maybe next time we should bring snacks too?” It was more of a question than an idea. 

“Assuming we do this again?” Hellboy said with a smirk. His tail swayed a bit as he waited for Myers’ response. 

“As long as you don’t get into any trouble, Hellboy.” John felt a smile if his own growing on his face.

“No promises.” And with that, they made their way back to the Bureau.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, I know this chapter was super short, but that's because I'm dealing with some stuff and I got sidetracked and forgot about this. I will be taking a small break, so yeah. I might be back next month, but I promise when I come back I will have something prepared to post. Something good.

**Author's Note:**

> Eh- So i left this one on a cliff hanger, because I need sleep and I have A LOT planned for the next chapter. The next chapter should be up sometime next week? So yeah, I hope y'all like this. Please feel free to comment on what i should put into the story, or what I need to work on. I am new to this, so yeah! Don't worry, this flash back will be over soon! oof


End file.
